live since 89.

God is nothing short of amazing.. His enduring, all-forgiving love is beyond human measure or comparison. How can I give my Creator His gratitude? What could I.. Little old me do; to tell my Savior–THANK YOU.

Words, actions, life.

See, what trips me out sometimes.. Is just knowing that God knows all and that He TRULY does forgive and is there.. He’s better than a father, He is The Father. I never had my real dad around growing up.. (Unless, you want to call 3 years out of 20 significant) So my father-daughter relationship is like non-existant on that level. I never really felt that love from a father before until I let God step in.. or rather, He let me step in. Describing the love I feel right now is.. AMAZING. It really is all-encompassing. I adore Him.. I feel like, theres a ribbon from God stretching down–wrapping me up in a spiral of love. To let me know what His love truly means. He’s not going to leave me, He knows me and how I feel towards Him. His love is not like man’s.

God has done many things for me this weekend alone. w/ CJS & I.. My brothers and I.. Just everything. Lord, I love You so much.. I am so grateful!

*QUICK EDIT: This came up right after I posted this >> Thou art worthy, O Lord, to receive glory and honour and power: for thou hast created all things, and for thy pleasure they are and were created.” Revelation 4:11*

Came across a note that was tagged to someone.. Wanted to save/share.

> Used vs. Loved
>
> While a man was polishing his new car, his 4 yr old son picked up a stone and
> scratched lines on the side of the car. In anger, the man took the child’s
> hand and hit it many times; not realizing he was using a wrench. At the
> hospital, the child lost all his fingers due to multiple fractures. When the
> child saw his father…..with painful eyes he asked, ‘Dad when will my
> fingers grow back?’
>
> The man was so hurt and speechless; he went back to his car and kicked it a
> lot of times. Devastated by his own actions…….sitting in front of that
> car he looked at the scratches; the child had written ‘LOVE YOU DAD’. The
> next day that man committed suicide…..
>
> Anger and Love have no limits; choose the latter to have a beautiful, lovely
> life….. Things are to be used and people are to be loved, But the problem
> in today’s world is that, People are used and things are loved… During
> this year, let’s be careful to keep this thought in mind: Things are to be
> used, but People are to be loved … Be yourself….This is the only day we
> HAVE. Have a nice day Watch your thoughts; they become words. Watch your
> words; they become actions. Watch your actions; they become habits. Watch
> your habits they become character; Watch your character; it becomes your
> destiny.

Earlier today, I was thinking about work. About taking a job because I kinda needed the extra money, but then I thought of the scripture.. ‘What good is it to gain the whole world?’

Went to Biblegateway.com, and the verse of the day is.. “What good is it for a man to gain the whole world, yet forfeit his soul?”- Mark 8:36

God’s on my side. Whether I see Him, or not.. or feel Him, or not, or am weak… He is strong.

I feel like this is a love letter.. Not a carnal love letter, but of just love from the Lord. This came at a time where I’m distraught. Confused about decisions to make, the road that I’m on, my imperfections, what happened two nights ago, the issue w/ my cell phone.. Just everything that is on my heart. Sad about the life I once lived, and those that are still in it.. Wanted to spread the gospel to those at the babyshower, but was afraid because I dont know if it is meant for me to minister. Going back home, I saw a church billboard, saying “You wanted to testify, you just did” or “You wanted to witness, you just did”.. I think it was number two.

Which gave me some support as to what I did. I didnt cuss, (almost slipped on the h-word), didnt rock or dance to the music (tempted to), didnt smoke/drink.. Also while there, I met someone named J-Lo, and she is the cousin of my deceased Godbrothers sister.. So, we conversated a little bit during the party, she introduced herself to me, and I to her.. It was cool, she had heard of me, and jst wanted to know who I was. She was also telling me to help her get C.H right because of everything that has happened with her brother and boyfriend.. She said that she could tell that I’m real, that she could see it in me–and I told her thank you, but its all God. That I’m out of the streets, and into the church.. and she said that she could feel that.  Maybe by me just doing that, it exhibited my Light. Glory to God. When I got home, I just cried…. Cried for what happened, cried for the lifestyle they had, cried cuz I came out of it, cried for just about everything.. I just love Jehovah. Here is the Scripture:

And I will betroth thee unto me for ever; yea, I will betroth thee unto me in righteousness, and in judgment, and in lovingkindness, and in mercies.  I will even betroth thee unto me in faithfulness: and thou shalt know the LORD.  Hosea 2:19-20

& got the chills when I read this just now..

“But our citizenship is in heaven. And we eagerly await a Savior from there, the Lord Jesus Christ,”- Philippians 3:20

this was from the night CS was here.. got major chills w/ it.

¹There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit.

This ^, was up there the night before.. and “suddenly” didnt change.. Gotta pray for wisdom.

He needs us to survive. That was what I got the most from church today… Aside from getting encouragement, and prayer, I’ve learned that these trials are to bring us to something better. For us to have substance. Sheesh.. On the way back, God delievered us.. He had “people” protectin us’.. Had we been driving any faster, there would have been an accident.. Thank God for getting us home! I’m just so thankful for for His unfailing love. Even in my darkest moments.. .when I feel alone, and have so much fear, anger, confusion.. It seems like, He waits. He waits for me to come from out of the ”forest” and into the clearing. So I can see, get my wounds taken care of, and rejoice in Him.. He is so excellent. In ways, I cant fathom or begin to think about..

God has a wonderful way of having things go.. I dont wanna say this, but “haywire” in our lives in order to bring us closer to Him.. To show us who He is. Im not at the end of that road yet.. but I’m getting there.. and realizing a lot more. God knows what we all can bear. Just when you think youre alone.. there He is.

…whoa

God is good! Jesus is good!

My window was open today.. Its been cooling off lately, so a good breeze was great! The window is without a screen, as I havent popped it back in yet.. Anyhow, I decide to come back to my bedroom and a mosquito flies around… Landing on my mirror. On one side I was feeling like I should have mercy and another part of me wanted to whack him.. So.. I had hit him. Not too hard apparently, since he fell down and got in between the sliding panels.. I rolled it back and he was still alive. I left to go back to my bed. He then sprang up, flying, landing on the bed. I grabbed a cup, caught him–but the cd case that was underneath, caught his leg.. and he was MAD! Nevertheless, I opened the window and let him out to fly.

I felt bad bout even hitting, but at the same time, better that I let him out. I thought to myself, wait.. What if that bug had something? O no! Or.. What if, the bug and his crushed leg decided to submit to God? Tired of biting folks and being nassy. Hmm.. Just a thought.

Listening to Rain On Us – Sha Simpson.. Facebooked.. Followed a link to a page for fans of Ruston, LA.. Went through some pictures and came on a beautiful water fountain. Got chills..

So. I’m in the car with my aunts, Baton Rouge, La.. Its was such a beautiful day.. Epic! And now, we are in the middle of a rainstorm.. Lightning and all.. I asked God if He could show me if I am on the right track.. Like a lightning bolt or something… mannn as soon as I even fixed my mouth to end prayer with an AMEN.. Crack! God is good!